The Difficult Art of Talking
by ensngre
Summary: Set after chapter 300. Team Kakashi meets Team Orochimaru. The final battle? Sai can't keep his mouth shut. This time, Naruto and Sasuke decide that he's crossed the line. Sai centric. Humor.


"I heard alot of you from Naruto-kun," Sai said. Currently, he was about fifthteen feets underground, in some shitty cavehole carved out by the hands of Orochimaru's minions. _Poor bastards_, Sai thought to himself as he regarded the rather damp and ill-smelling cave with its muddy walls.

_Not much of architectual style_. There was also something behind the back of one Uchiha Sasuke, as he sat there on a heightened section of the floor, with two candles. "Seems like he's been searching for you alot," Sai said and added, "these past three years."

Sasuke grunted and seemed to frown, but Sai wasn't too sure as the angle of approach of the two lightsources behind the Uchiha didn't reveal much of him. "So he was there too... that guy..." and pausing for considering something, but exclaimed instead, "let's go, Orochimaru." Sasuke started to stand, but paused midway and sat down again when he noticed that his play-toy apparently wasn't done speaking.

"Comparing to Naruto-kun, it seems like it will be easier to get along with you," he said. And following this, he noticed that the glare from the pair of Sharingans staring at him intensed, and as he fell under the genjutsu, he feared. He was mildly surprised that he, of all people, would feel - but the impression of the red-eyed prodigy didn't last long, seeing a wonderful opportunity...

Putting up his usual fake smile and squinting eyes, he stood up and dusted off his pants. "Nice trick you got up your sleeve," as the three other occupants remained impassive, Sasuke showing disinterest once again. "That almost frightened me more than the sight of Naruto-kuns pitiful penis," at which the Uchiha forced his eyes wide open and was just in the processing stage of a deadly genjutsu, when Orochimaru directed his killing intent to his young apprentice. The Sharingan became at once deactivated and the figure fell down on his knees, clutching his head and making some silent noise of pain. _Orochimaru's got him on a leash... _Sai analyzed while the Sannins white-haired lackey lectured the boy about discipline and whatnot.

His eyes turned upwards from the kneeling traitor writhing in pain to the object behind. Finally, he saw what he think it was, and decided to ask. "Is that a snake?" The cove became quiet yet again, Kabuto pushed up his glasses and turned to the Leaf-nin to answer his question, but Orochimaru beat him to it.

"So it is," he said, chuckling that laugh only he could create. Kabuto smirked, and Uchiha Sasuke had just stopped panting and was nog standing up, an impressive show of mental power considering the strain Orochimaru had put on him, albeit wiggling.

Sai, always saying too much, always taking things too far, never knowing when to stop, put up his fake smile yet again and announced to the masses, "not very irresistible, is it?"

Kabuto quickly removed the smirk, replaced it with a neutral face that looked more sinister than it hide, Sasuke wondered who the hell the guy was and Orochimaru... Orochimaru was boiling, but had not yet performed any punitive action, but he would, oh he would, and the little insignificant worm would've wished he'd never been born...

But before any unearthly torment would come to the newly joined and oh-so-daring boy, the single most annoying shinobi in the land came crashing down the roof, accompanied by his two team-mates; the pink-headed and one of the Hokage's most trusted.

Kabuto had a bad premonition about how his part in all this would affect him, Sasuke shockingly stared at the mass of three, and Orochimaru... Orochimaru was--

"SASUKE! Come with us, you bastard!" Naruto exclaimed in his usual too-loud voice and shook his fist against the Uchiha, as if he would become scared and obey. Sakura weren't aware of anything except her former team-mate, who she had been so madly in love with. She wasn't sure if she was _in love_ with him anymore, but she sure as hell loved him as she loved Naruto. And Yamato sighed, but never once changed his defensive position.

He had clearly overestimated the importance that their previous discussion about not rushing in had been to Naruto, but he guessed that it could've been worse with Naruto not just barging in, but leaping directly at Sasuke hoping the overpower-Sasuke part would be so quickly done that they would've been out of the cave before Kabuto or even Orochimaru noticed it.

He had not really counted with anything professional from the blonde's side, so they were _fairly _sticking to the plan. Very, very fairly.

Of course, he hadn't expected Sais deflectment, and Team Kakashi were now hopelessly outnumbered. Not only was it three against four, but it was one Sannin, one on the level of Kakashi, a young member of the Roots and not the least the prodigy who had inherited Konoha's greatest bloodline against his measly team of himself, an inexperienced medical-nin with the hots for one of the enemies and one very dysfunctional Jinchuuriki.

Up to this point, it was hard. Real hard. As in less than 30 chance of success. But when one added to the sum that he had to actually control the Jinchuuriki, which had taken alot of concentration and power in the last fight and there was still numerous fights to come, it suddenly became awfully... worrying... hopeless.

Yamato was never one to give up under any circumstances, but this time he seriously doubted they would get away with mere bruises and exhaustion.

"Well, say something, damnit!" Naruto shouted at his ex-comrade-in-arms. "What's wrong with you! Why're you cowering behind that venomous snake! Sasuke!"

Sai watched it with interest. This was certainly a spectra of emotions being shown, even from the Uchiha who still held quiet and regarded his former team-mates with eyes that betrayed nothing. But he felt it, Sai felt it. The maelstroem of feelings whirling around in the boy with the red eyes. He remembered what Sakura had said. "_Naruto... thinks of Sasuke as being like a brother._"

Somehow, seeing those two argue with each other, throwing cuss-words and harsh insults but not attacking one another, made him feel... what? Sad? Sad because that had not been the way him and his brother had acted... even when they had been in the exact same position; one loyal and hurt while the other a traitor and...

He blamed the feeling on the strange genjutsu he had been exposed to just minutes ago. Decided to break it up before it consumed him anymore, to a point where he would not be able to return to the dead, the un-feeling.

Orochimaru was talking to Kabuto in a low tone, something about not leaving Sai 'dead', Naruto continued to argue with Sasuke and Sakura were looking at the ground, having a gloom face from the heated battle of words her two most beloved persons had. Yamato looked blank. Probably constructing strategies, Sai figured.

"Well, aren't you two gays cute," he said, the ordinary 'smile' already plastered on his face complete with the squinting eyes. He loved his witty comments that everyone hated.

Naruto turned to him, confusion and eagerness to do something rash apparent on his face. "What'd ya just say!" Sasuke only turned his head in his direction, glaring with his three-wheeled special eyes.

Sais smile didn't grow, nor did it falter, when he noticed he got all the attention in the room. That was the unnvering part of a smiling Sai. "Why don't you stop the bitchy argument and perform a _real_ contest? I'll be judge."

Sasuke were about rush forward and sever his head, but Naruto held out an arm and stopped him. "Wh-what kinda contest?" He asked and peeved sceptically at the brush-loving artist.

It was not as if he didn't care about what and how others thought of and reacted to his personality. He was just Sai, and being just Sai, he always managed to say the most stupid things at the most dire moments. His timing could (probably...) have been worse, but this was just as bad. "Why, a penis measure content."

Sai still kept his smile on as he were being chased over the plains by two red-faced madmans chewing foam in Mach speed, followed not so closely by four flustered and confused shinobis.

In the lack of greatness in Narutos, Sai had his hopes set high on Sasukes asset.


End file.
